REFLECTIONS FROM THE REARVIEW
  • Home
  • Hello and Welcome
  • Blog
  • Random Gatherings
  • My Book
  • FAQ

Just like God

6/13/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
Is it possible to be spoiled by love?

It might be the linchpin issue that most divides parents in childrearing. One spoils and the other disciplines. While both are necessary, it sure is nice to be spoiled. And there are very few people in the world who will spoil you. If you had a spoiler in your past, you will no doubt remember them. Whether they ruined you is a matter of conjecture. 

Spoiled begs the bigger question, whether it is better to be kind or just... because kindness is not just. It is indulgent. You are letting bad things slide. It reminds me of a parallel observation from theologian Reinhold Neibuhr - that forgiveness is the most unjust thing in the world. That is what you do when you overlook wrong. You fail to implement justice. 

Everyone needs at least a bit of spoiling because life itself can be harsh. It spoils few people in the natural course of events. It needs those who can balance the equation - those spoilers out there who are few and far between. 

I had a grandmother that I would call a spoiler. It was not that she was rich. To the contrary, she was as poor as a church mouse. Her eldest son (my Dad’s brother Harry Toop) had been in charge of her estate. He helped himself to it, transaction by transaction and eventually it became clear that she had been defrauded. Her only recourse might have been to sue, and she could not bring herself to sue her own son. Hence, her spoiling was the proverbial widow’s mite. All she had to give was love, and so she did.

My grandmother was a great listener who would weigh in with empathetic exclamations when you told her stuff. “Goodness, do tell? Well, I never heard the like of it!”. It was as if you were the only person in the world and you had her full attention. Whatever you had to tell her was terribly interesting and of the greatest importance. She also had a stock of pink peppermints that she stored in her purse. Somehow she was convinced that a lot of ills could be cured in the world if you offered someone a pink peppermint. 

Primarily I loved my grandmother because she expansively withheld judgement and looked the other way when we heaped troubles on her listening ear. I am not sure if that is the just route, but I sure know how it felt. There was plenty she could have criticized us for - our long hair, our impulsiveness, or raw teen emotion brewing over the surface. But she didn’t say much, she just listened. 

Love is a wait and see kind of mission. In this way it is related to faith. It is calculating that there is enough good in the world to balance the bad that life can bring. People who wager in this manner likely have some experience. They have seen some heartache and they do not want to add to it. 

My grandmother originally hailed from England... her father was one of those hapless Brits who came here with dreams of a farm and had no idea what that would entail in practical terms. There is an almost comical photo once circulated with my grandmother and her sisters, dressed in Victorian finery having tea... in front of a half fallen down shack in the background. The ins and outs of weather and all else that comes with farming broke her father, he walked to town one day and never came back. He is buried in a pauper’s graveyard in Saskatchewan, away from the family plots. He had failed in life’s biggest test... love. 


Nietzsche observed that those who gaze into the abyss become the abyss. But that is not necessarily so. Sometimes the most frail walk up and kiss despair on the lips and say ‘no, thank you’ and keep on walking. Somehow they resolve, that no matter how long it takes they are going to breathe some form of kindness in that great void.

My grandmother once said to me, that all you need in the world is one person who truly loves you. When you find them, chances are you have found a spoiler, and they are rare. Still, I have sometimes wondered what it would be like if everyone around you loved you unconditionally. It’s an unthinkable concept in this present world.

The Bible tells us, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9” I am convinced that those who have so successfully loved God have also loved their fellow man. Heaven will be a surprise of indulgent love. 

In this manner Isaiah prophesied, “Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain.” Hebrews 12:13 tells us: “…make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.”

Love does this, by offering hope that things still have the chance to change for the better. Of all the things in life, you certainly remember it most along with those who offered its expansive forgiveness. I know from experience that it is unassuming and endlessly kind and it smells of pink peppermints. Maybe love is not just, but it is just like God who smiles on the just and the unjust alike. 
Picture
Irene Phelps... known by those who loved her as “Rene”, and known to me as Grandma. 
0 Comments

    UNCOMMON
    ​THOUGHTS

    ...about common things. 
    ​

    Categories

    All
    Accidental Story
    Activist
    Adjusting The Recipe
    Adult Admission
    A Flannery O'Connor Moment
    After The Tiger
    A High Christology
    A Little Bit Redneck
    All About Widgets
    Allah Wallahi
    Al Low Vs The Man
    All Saints
    A Long List Of Thank Yous
    Amazing Grace
    A Month Of Sundays
    An Offer You Can’t Refuse
    Antique
    A Pile Of Wood And A Plan
    Are We There Yet?
    Artifact
    At Hand
    Attending To Beauty
    At War
    Bad-Ass Outlaw
    Bad Faith
    Badlands
    Baked Boiled Or Fried?
    Balcony Lady
    Beautiful By Design
    Beauty For Ashes
    Being Human
    Belial
    Beneficence
    Beware Of Men Who Cry
    Big Buts Of The Bible
    Blessed Are The Pew Warmers
    Bound For Beauty
    British Invasion
    Bronte Oak
    Bucket List
    But If Not
    But Is It Sandable
    But Is It True?
    Buyer Beware
    Camp Of The Unknown God
    Carlton The Delivery Man
    Chaos
    Cherry Top
    Class Monitors And Safety Patrols
    Clothing Optional
    Cloud Of Witnesses
    Contra Mundum
    Couldn't Not
    Counting The Cost
    Covid Cut
    Creed
    Crucified Man
    Dangerous
    Dangerous Chemicals Of My Youth
    Dieu Et Mon Droit
    Different Drum
    Distressed
    Doing The Lord's Work
    Do It Yourself
    Do-Over
    Do Something!
    Dreaming And Doing
    Edifice
    Egging Armour Hill
    Even As I Am Known
    Even Me
    Even Stranger Things
    Fallow Season
    Family Bible
    Family Business
    Fellowship Of The Brush
    Field Of Faith
    First World Chair
    Fit As You Go
    Fixing The Machine
    Flawed People
    Flock Of Angels
    Follow The Money
    For A Time Such As This
    Fortissimo!
    French Horn
    From A Distance
    Frozen Man
    Funny Words
    Genetic Lottery
    Gifting
    Global
    Good Bones
    Good God Almighty
    Good Government
    Good Luck Skippy
    Gott Mit Uns
    Greatest Is Love
    Gross Anatomy
    Grunt
    Haka!
    Hammer And Tong
    Hands And Eyes
    Happy Rooster
    Hearing Voices
    Hello My Juan
    Helping God Show Off
    Hidden In The Secret Place
    High Dudgeon
    History Bites
    Hockey Tape And Rubber Bands
    Holy Disorder
    Home Economics
    I AM
    I Cannot Help You
    I Could Be Wrong
    I Dare You
    Idiots
    If You Build It
    If You Get There Before I Do
    Im Khalil
    Impossibly Cute
    In A Strange Land
    Incarnation
    Influencer
    In My Own Time
    Inner FIfteen Year Old
    In The Details
    In The Usual Manner
    Invader
    Judge Not
    Just A Few Words
    Justice
    Just In Our Own Time
    Just Like God
    Keep Calm And...
    Keeper
    Keeping House
    Keeping On Keeping On
    KJV
    Knock Yourself Out
    Kumbaya
    Kybo
    Lamentations
    Lemonade
    Less Is More
    Let Me Count The Ways
    Let's Go RIde A BIke
    Linked In
    Little Boxes
    Liturgy
    Lo And Behold
    Logos
    LOL
    Looking Back On The Forward Looking
    Looking For Some Real Good News
    Lord Jesus It’s A FIRE
    Lorem-ipsum-dolor
    Lost-and-found
    Luck Of The Stable
    Magical
    Make-a-baby-laugh
    Make It Nice
    Maker
    Maker’s Mark
    Ma-pitom
    Marbles-in-spring
    Measure Of A Man
    Memory Box
    Men In Loincloths
    Men's Barber Shop
    Middle Ground
    Middleman
    Mistakes All In
    Montreal Spice
    More
    Morse Code
    Mosh Pit
    My Neighbour
    Myth Of Sisyphus
    My Wife The Movie Star
    Name Calling
    Natural
    Neighbour
    New Day
    New Wine
    Next To Godliness
    Next Year Country
    No Fancy Diagram Needed
    No King But Caesar
    None Deserving
    North Of Ground Level
    Nothing Particularly Important
    Nothing Personal
    Not Waiting For Godot
    No Wonder
    Oak
    One Coffee At A Time
    One Smart Farmer
    One Thing
    On Richard Rohr
    On The Lam
    On Writing Clearly
    Ordinary Time
    Out Of Egypt
    Over And Again
    Paint Over That
    Paper Boy
    Particularity
    Particulate Matter
    Part Of The Tradition
    Pater Noster
    Patina
    Pelagian
    Perfect
    Perfect Crime
    Perfect Ride
    Philosemite
    Pilate's Dilemma
    Pinky Swear
    Place At The Table
    Playing Favourites
    Pop-a-corn!
    Potato War
    Preaching Parrot
    Predators
    Prince
    Print Shop
    Prisoner Of Jesus Christ
    Proof Text
    Psalm 1
    Psalm 19
    Put Away The Books
    Putting Up The Lights
    Reduce Reuse Recycle
    Restoration
    Rosemary And The Drug Dealers
    Sandwich
    Say My Name
    Scars
    Second Naiveté
    Seeing Red
    Seven Sixty-Five
    Shouting From The Areopagus
    Shrove-tuesday
    Silent-witness
    Small-c
    Small-graces
    Sore-afraid
    Squat
    Starting With What Is True
    Street Food
    Superstar
    Take-a-punch
    Takedown
    Talking-head
    Talking Your Parents Down From The Ledge
    Telling-the-story
    Thanksgiving
    The-best-for-last
    The Bliss Of Ignorance
    The Church Invisible
    Thecrossingking
    The Evil Day
    The-general
    The Great Mystery
    The-joys-of-hash
    Themysteryofthecheshirecat
    The-particularity-of-place
    The-quickening
    Therefore-choose-life
    The Table-ness Of A Table
    The Way
    Though One Be Raised From The Dead
    Thoughts On Sixty
    Three Jews And A Gentile
    Thrice Wise
    Throwing The Spaghetti Against The Wall
    Timeless
    Time Vs Time
    Tim Falladay
    Tims No More
    Tonto And Me
    Touching Stones
    Trevor’s Super Bad Day
    Trick Key
    Tubafore!
    Unbelievable
    Under A Bush? HELL NO!
    Uninvited
    Unspectacular
    Use Gently
    Watching Paint Dry
    Wayside Chapel
    Weaker Sex (?)
    We Stand On Guard For Thee
    We Were Waiting
    What Are You Prepared To DO?
    What Lazarus Knew
    When Cows Fly
    When Odd Becomes Interesting
    Why I Still Like Cowboys
    Witness
    Woke
    Wood Show
    Woodworking Lessons In Empathy
    Words
    Words... The Right Tool
    Worthy Adversary
    You And Me And Rob

    RSS Feed

Contact Us

    Subscribe Today!

Submit
Picture
  • Home
  • Hello and Welcome
  • Blog
  • Random Gatherings
  • My Book
  • FAQ