Lorem Ipsum Dolor....

If you say the words LOREM IPSUM DOLOR, every graphic artist (of a certain age) will know what you are talking about. It is filler copy, used in place of the real thing. Lorem Ipsum Dolor is a temporary placeholder used to sell a visual concept to a client. Derived from a speech by Roman orator Cicero, it has the odd impression of real verbage at first glance. Here is what it looks like placed in a paragraph. Squint your eyes and you will get the idea. It is Latin of course but it could pass for English if you are not looking too hard. 

For those creating concept layouts and mockups, you are no longer limited to the old standard Lorem Ipsum Dolor. Thanks to the internet you can now use text generators to create your own placeholder copy. There are many iterations to choose from. 

For example: Startreck Ipsum.

Beam me up Scottie, Exceeding reaction chamber thermal limit. We have begun power-supply calibration. Force fields have been established on all turbo lifts and crawlways. Computer, run a level-two diagnostic on warp-drive systems. Antimatter containment positive. Warp drive within normal parameters. I read an ion trail characteristic of a freighter escape pod. The bomb had a molecular-decay detonator. Detecting some unusual fluctuations in subspace frequencies.

Cat Ipsum for all those people out there crazy about their pets. It uses all kinds of cat words strung together. 

Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space chase ball of string chew foot, and poop on grasses. Why must they do that flop over. Fur ball toy sleep nap and knock over Christmas tree spread kitty litter all over house sweet beast. Use lap as chair give attitude poop on grasses sleep nap. Vomit food and eat it again but sweet beast, so cat snacks fluffy hide behind couch…

For those with a sweet tooth, we have Cupcake Ipsum

Gingerbread cake jelly pudding jelly beans. Fruitcake gingerbread wafer wafer gingerbread apple pie marshmallow. Biscuit jelly cookie dragée brownie dessert carrot cake macaroon bonbon. Liquorice marshmallow fruitcake caramels dessert gingerbread. Cupcake caramels biscuit macaroon delights whipped creamy glucose fructose malt chocolate coating….

Online Dating Ipsum… simulates the word salad that people put out there to represent themselves on dating profiles. It looks a bit like this. 

Introvert jazz cafes having a few beers self-deprecating humor. Degree in philosophy beach party Vampire Weekend introvert self-deprecating humor really hoppy beers, do shots grilling tacos really hoppy beers medical school I'm looking for. Not into Family is very important to me bikes trying this for the first time Breaking Bad I'm really good at bored at home my parents soul mate I don’t do but if you are compatible experiment long walks romantic haven’t had many partners but I like sense of humour and.

And then there is the verbal pablum of Hipster Ipsum

Occupy roof party biodiesel letterpress asymmetrical. Sustainable zip car air B&B brunch pug, lumber jacket metrosexual gluten-free banh mi chambray mumblecore pickled. Yr retro hashtag, pork belly drinking vinegar Blue Bottle disrupt reike yoga butcher. Health goth small batch plaid vegan sustainable future global. Twee gluten-free sustainable wayfarers. Fixie deep, Williamsburg beard drinking vinegar artisan mustache yr hoodie plaid. Craft beer tempeh letterpress Kickstarter, quinoa irony sartorial freegan ennui fashion axe before they sold out quinoa sriracha migas Shoreditch slow-carb milleninal metrosexual.

​In Canada, I think we should have Political Ipsum. Our current PM, Trudeau, would do great. 

Diversity is our strength Stephen Harper alt-right middle class my father Pierre Trudeau Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms immigration, ten million Quebec sovereign nation price on pollution, grow the economy ISIS fighters can be an extraordinarily powerful voice Russian bots preserve our freedoms um, aw, drinky box thingy’s bollywood ban plastics our oceans Chinese economy trans admirable dictatorships create jobs Jody Wilson Raybould Fidel Castro Trump Macron Gerald Butts gender parity pipeline caucus equity SNC Lavalin weepy apology aboriginal LGTBQ2S Chewbacca socks Eid Mubarack foreign travellers because it’s 2015 inclusive peoplekind male feminist Kokanee grope...

But that is not all. Oh, no. There is Lorem F*cking Ipsum for those given to emphatic speech. Heisenberg Ipsum (say my name!) for fans of Breaking Bad, Kayne West Ipsum for followers of rap, Reddit Ipsum for the big problems of life, and Nietzsche Ipsum for the philosophically minded. One need no longer do boring. You can now blue-sky your concepts with personal flair. 

There is a problem as you can see. For filler, this is all too entertaining. If you start to put filler copy in English, people will read it. I know. In a place I used to work, I was working on a mockup for a presentation on a Friday afternoon. I was young. I had plans for the weekend. It was summer, and beautiful weather outside. And then there was me, stuck at a desk, looking out the window and daydreaming of better things. 

Somewhere in the midst of creating a fake block of copy for a paragraph, I started typing my own version of Lorem Ipsum Dolor. It was an extemporaneous stream of consciousness of what was really going on inside my head. It went something like this:

Man I am so darned bored sitting here watching the clock tick. It is beautiful outside and everyone else is out there having fun while I am doing this stupid ad. I can’t wait to see my girlfriend and there is this concert and me and my friends…..

You get the drift. you know what I was REALLY thinking about while putting in my time until the five-o’clock bell. 

Problem was, that when presenting that ad at a meeting a week later, they projected it large, onscreen. Instead of focusing on the concept, people actually started to read all that small copy. Then they started to laugh. It was very entertaining. The boss was not impressed and I heard about it personally the following week. 

In retrospect, what I served up to that business crowd at the meeting was the real goods. I see it as a moment of incredible human solidarity, created unwittingly, by me, in a singular relatable moment. They laughed because it was what they were all really feeling. No one is “on” all the time, unless you truly are a robot. 

In North America, we work too much. Consider France. It is traditional there, for everyone to take the entire month of August off. No work for anybody. Now, that is what I call a real holiday. Still, the economy ticks on.

That is the point. It’s summer and beautiful outside and my mind is wandering. I want to be on a dock somewhere with my bare feet in the water. Work is over-rated. Is it five o’clock yet?