REFLECTIONS FROM THE REARVIEW
  • Home
  • Hello and Welcome
  • Blog
  • Random Gatherings
  • My Book
  • FAQ

Paper Boy... June 5, 2019

6/5/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
There is little that has stuck with me in life, as much as being a childhood paper boy.

I am a former paperboy from a paper route family. I have six brothers. We all had newspaper routes, sometimes two at the same time, mornings before school and evenings after school, all of us coming and going in opposite directions, paper bags slung over our shoulders. Our house was like central station.

It is not the kind of thing most families would take on unless you were nuts. My parents were certain there were life lessons to be had, at any rate, in a big family we had to earn our own spending money. I can remember the day my mother was almost apoplectic in anger because someone had maliciously spread gossip that we were an army of child labour contributing our earnings to the family budget. 

Viewing the family from the outside, most people could not conclude that we would voluntarily busy ourselves this way except from financial duress. I have my own theories about why we all had routes. I think my mom thought to tire us out so as to keep us out of trouble. There was no question where we all were after school. It was her batch solution to deal with an army of boys. 

It certainly could not have been to preserve the peace. Picture this. 5 AM, the time when most people are still happily asleep in bed, the alarm would go off. Winter or summer, rain or shine. Family life sprung into action. Everyone out of bed, and my mother usually making something fast and effective like oatmeal. Another standard was old buns she had baked on Sunday, sliced up and batch-toasted under the broiler in the oven. We were in a hurry. Inevitably, the toast would be burned in process due to inattention, scraped of the black parts, and spread with peanut butter. Then we would bundle up against whatever weather prevailed. 

It wasn’t just the weather. You were in the ever present danger of dogs. In a semi-rural area, everyone it seems, had dogs, and the dogs ran free. They were territorial and they would attack you, some big and fierce. The owners insisted that their dogs were “friendly” and as a kid you had no rights even when you were bitten. People would laugh it off. 

And there were some notable dogs... big dogs who did not like you at all. One German Shepherd would play cat and mouse with me. It would hide in a different spot every single day. You would creep up and look cautiously under the car, on the sides of the house by the bushes... and then suddenly.... I recall the most baffling incident was one day when the dog descended on me from overhead. It was hiding on the car patio up above. I cannot for the life of me figure out how a dog could get on a roof unless the kids were in on the hijinks. It did not increase my love of dogs. 

Getting the paper delivered nowadays generally translates into a stranger with a car, who anonymously shows up in the dark and plants the paper at your door. The bill comes automatically on your credit card. It was not always like this.

The onus for payment in my time was on the paperboy. It meant that you had to be diligent in your collections every Thursday, door knocking. There were some people who were notorious deadbeats. When they paid, you clipped a little proof of payment with a hole puncher, and tore it off your sheet. If you had a bunch of weeks backed up, it meant the customer had not paid. To be stiffed could be catastrophic to your bottom line, as paper boys did not make a lot. I remember I made four and a half dollars a week from my after school route. Sometimes that was scuttled by adults who self-righteously insisted that they MUST have paid. They remembered. A kid’s word would never stand against that of an insistent adult. 

There were some odd benefits however. One was that you would get incredibly strong. We were a somewhat bookish and quiet family, and it was inconceivable to some that we might be athletic. This was sometimes put to the test. I do not recall every losing a fist fight at school. I can also remember my older brother once trying out for the track team. Everyone laughed at him... until he ran. He easily bested everyone else on the team, leaving them in the dust. No wonder. He had legs like tree trunks for slogging around a forty pound bag of newspapers every single day. No gym membership necessary. 

The other things that have stuck, have been odd and might be hard to otherwise explain. I love burnt toast and peanut butter to this day. I still rise at 5 am no matter the season. I like all kinds of weather and I do not suffer from the cold. I have a righteous surety that I have always earned every single dime that has come my way in life. I like to walk in the rain, and I like having some solitary time every single day. 

It was also educational. I excelled at school in current events. People called me scoop Toop because I was always up on the news, after all, I read the headlines every single day. Things that happened during that time period impressed me greatly. The assassination of Martin Luther King, the summer of love with naked sit-ins, the Six-Day War in Israel, Watergate, Woodstock. I have an avid relationship with reading to this day, and like to stay on top of what goes on in the world, and why. 

Most weird observation from delivering newspapers... every single person’s home smelled distinctly different and I could tell you blindfolded, whose house I was in if you were to put me to the test.

One more thing. Please do not judge me, but this has affected my relationship with dogs to this very day. My daughter’s dog and I have tacitly agreed to eyeball each other from a distance. It could not be any other way. They can smell it on you. 

After all, I am a former paper boy. 


0 Comments

    UNCOMMON
    ​THOUGHTS

    ...about common things. 
    ​

    Categories

    All
    Accidental Story
    Activist
    Adjusting The Recipe
    Adult Admission
    A Flannery O'Connor Moment
    After The Tiger
    A High Christology
    A Little Bit Redneck
    A Little Lower Than The Angels
    All About Widgets
    Allah Wallahi
    Al Low Vs The Man
    All Saints
    A Long List Of Thank Yous
    Amazing Grace
    A Month Of Sundays
    An Offer You Can’t Refuse
    Antique
    A Pile Of Wood And A Plan
    Are We There Yet?
    Artifact
    At Hand
    Attending To Beauty
    At War
    Bad-Ass Outlaw
    Bad Faith
    Badlands
    Baked Boiled Or Fried?
    Balcony Lady
    Beautiful By Design
    Beauty For Ashes
    Being Human
    Belial
    Beneficence
    Beware Of Men Who Cry
    Big Buts Of The Bible
    Blessed Are The Pew Warmers
    Bound For Beauty
    British Invasion
    Bronte Oak
    Bucket List
    But If Not
    But Is It Sandable
    But Is It True?
    Buyer Beware
    Camp Of The Unknown God
    Carlton The Delivery Man
    Chaos
    Cherry Top
    Class Monitors And Safety Patrols
    Clothing Optional
    Cloud Of Witnesses
    Contra Mundum
    Couldn't Not
    Counting The Cost
    Covid Cut
    Creed
    Crucified Man
    Dangerous
    Dangerous Chemicals Of My Youth
    Dieu Et Mon Droit
    Different Drum
    Distressed
    Doing The Lord's Work
    Do It Yourself
    Do-Over
    Do Something!
    Dreaming And Doing
    Edifice
    Egging Armour Hill
    Even As I Am Known
    Even Me
    Even Stranger Things
    Fallow Season
    Family Bible
    Family Business
    Fellowship Of The Brush
    Field Of Faith
    First World Chair
    Fit As You Go
    Fixing The Machine
    Flawed People
    Flock Of Angels
    Follow The Money
    For A Time Such As This
    Fortissimo!
    French Horn
    From A Distance
    Frozen Man
    Funny Words
    Genetic Lottery
    Gifting
    Good Bones
    Good God Almighty
    Good Government
    Good Luck Skippy
    Gott Mit Uns
    Greatest Is Love
    Gross Anatomy
    Grunt
    Haka!
    Hammer And Tong
    Hands And Eyes
    Happy Rooster
    Hearing Voices
    Hello My Juan
    Helping God Show Off
    Hidden In The Secret Place
    High Dudgeon
    History Bites
    Hockey Tape And Rubber Bands
    Holy Disorder
    Home Economics
    I AM
    I Cannot Help You
    I Could Be Wrong
    I Dare You
    Idiots
    If You Build It
    If You Get There Before I Do
    Im Khalil
    Impossibly Cute
    In A Strange Land
    Incarnation
    Influencer
    In My Own Time
    Inner FIfteen Year Old
    In The Details
    In The Usual Manner
    Invader
    Judge Not
    Just A Few Words
    Justice
    Just In Our Own Time
    Just Like God
    Keep Calm And...
    Keeper
    Keeping House
    Keeping On Keeping On
    KJV
    Knock Yourself Out
    Kumbaya
    Kybo
    Lamentations
    Lemonade
    Less Is More
    Let Me Count The Ways
    Let's Go RIde A BIke
    Linked In
    Little Boxes
    Liturgy
    Lo And Behold
    Logos
    LOL
    Looking Back On The Forward Looking
    Looking For Some Real Good News
    Lord Jesus It’s A FIRE
    Lorem-ipsum-dolor
    Lost-and-found
    Luck Of The Stable
    Magical
    Make-a-baby-laugh
    Make It Nice
    Maker
    Maker’s Mark
    Ma-pitom
    Marbles-in-spring
    Measure Of A Man
    Memory Box
    Men In Loincloths
    Men's Barber Shop
    Middle Ground
    Middleman
    Mistakes All In
    Montreal Spice
    More
    Morse Code
    Mosh Pit
    My Neighbour
    Myth Of Sisyphus
    My Wife The Movie Star
    Name Calling
    Natural
    Neighbour
    New Day
    New Wine
    Next To Godliness
    Next Year Country
    No Fancy Diagram Needed
    No King But Caesar
    None Deserving
    North Of Ground Level
    Nothing Particularly Important
    Nothing Personal
    Not Waiting For Godot
    No Wonder
    Oak
    One Coffee At A Time
    One Smart Farmer
    One Thing
    On Richard Rohr
    On The Lam
    On Writing Clearly
    Ordinary Time
    Out Of Egypt
    Over And Again
    Paint Over That
    Paper Boy
    Particularity
    Particulate Matter
    Part Of The Tradition
    Pater Noster
    Patina
    Pelagian
    Perfect
    Perfect Crime
    Perfect Ride
    Philosemite
    Pilate's Dilemma
    Pinky Swear
    Place At The Table
    Playing Favourites
    Pop-a-corn!
    Potato War
    Preaching Parrot
    Predators
    Prince
    Print Shop
    Prisoner Of Jesus Christ
    Proof Text
    Psalm 1
    Psalm 19
    Put Away The Books
    Putting Up The Lights
    Reduce Reuse Recycle
    Restoration
    Rosemary And The Drug Dealers
    Sandwich
    Say My Name
    Scars
    Second Naiveté
    Seeing Red
    Seven Sixty-Five
    Shouting From The Areopagus
    Shrove-tuesday
    Silent-witness
    Small-c
    Small-graces
    Sore-afraid
    Squat
    Starting With What Is True
    Street Food
    Superstar
    Take-a-punch
    Takedown
    Talking-head
    Talking Your Parents Down From The Ledge
    Telling-the-story
    Thanksgiving
    The-best-for-last
    The Bliss Of Ignorance
    The Church Invisible
    Thecrossingking
    The Evil Day
    The-general
    The Great Mystery
    The-joys-of-hash
    Themysteryofthecheshirecat
    The-particularity-of-place
    The-quickening
    Therefore-choose-life
    The Table-ness Of A Table
    The Way
    Though One Be Raised From The Dead
    Thoughts On Sixty
    Three Jews And A Gentile
    Thrice Wise
    Throwing The Spaghetti Against The Wall
    Timeless
    Time Vs Time
    Tim Falladay
    Tims No More
    Tonto And Me
    Touching Stones
    Trevor’s Super Bad Day
    Trick Key
    Tubafore!
    Unbelievable
    Under A Bush? HELL NO!
    Uninvited
    Unspectacular
    Use Gently
    Watching Paint Dry
    Wayside Chapel
    Weaker Sex (?)
    We Stand On Guard For Thee
    We Were Waiting
    What Are You Prepared To DO?
    What Lazarus Knew
    When Cows Fly
    When Odd Becomes Interesting
    Why I Still Like Cowboys
    Witness
    Woke
    Wood Show
    Woodworking Lessons In Empathy
    Words
    Words... The Right Tool
    Worthy Adversary
    You And Me And Rob

    RSS Feed

Contact Us

    Subscribe Today!

Submit
Picture
  • Home
  • Hello and Welcome
  • Blog
  • Random Gatherings
  • My Book
  • FAQ