REFLECTIONS FROM THE REARVIEW
  • Home
  • Hello and Welcome
  • Blog
  • Random Gatherings
  • My Book
  • FAQ

Perfect

7/27/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
Because you know, we had all the time in the world. 

“Bring it back when it is perfect” said the drill sergeant. He sat on a cannon and filed his nails, looking vaguely relaxed and happy. The next soldier got the same treatment. And the next. 

Once was never enough. We were teen-age recruits in the local militia, which we had joined so that we could play army for real. It was nine in the evening, and we had arrived from a long day of exercises in Huntsville that began at dawn. We were tired, covered in mosquito bites, and hungry. We wanted to go home. The gun-cleaning charade however, had to play itself out. The sergeant had to first bust our balls, you know, all that character-building discipline that army training brings. 

We had to take apart our World-War-Two issue FM rifles and clean them stem to stern with oil and steel wool until they shone, not a speck of gunpowder or rust to be found. The problem was, you could clean your gun two or three times over because the sergeant was not tired yet, apparently. “Look at that mark there” he would say emphatically. “Clean it again”. You would look. There was no mark in the place he had indicated even if you squinted your eyes. You would curse that son-of-a-bitch in your mind and then go back and clean your gun again. 

And so it is with perfect. Easy for the one asking, and hard for the guy doing the actual work. 

I always seem to get sucker punched by perfect. It starts something like this… a ‘little’ job that looks easy. My wife wanted to repurpose an Ikea wardrobe sitting in the garage from the last house. The problem was the only doors Ikea had for that configuration were ugly slab doors. Worse, the doors were not symmetric. One was wide, the other narrow. I offered to build some traditional raised panel doors for the wardrobe that would look a little nicer. A weekend in the shop. No problem. 

Finishing is the thing that few woodworkers like. Building is generally the fun part. Finishing will make grown men cry, both from the tedium and from the chance you will ruin your work. Finishing is really what separates the boys from the men because you are on the road to PERFECT and your competition, is a machine made factory finish in a controlled perfect environment. Finishing usually takes at least twice as long as the actual building… if you are lucky. 

Knowing my wife (perhaps related to the drill sergeant) would run her fingers on every edge trying to find a drip or a blemish, I put my best foot forward. Sanding through three various grits between coats of paint, I ended up wet-sanding with four hundred grit paper. The doors were polished perfection, smoother than a baby’s butt. My wife inspected them.  “I don’t know” she said, I don’t like the sheen. I think they should be more shiny.”

In what I thought would be a quick fix, I got some water based spray polyurethane to give the doors a quick, shiny coat. No problem. Except that the finishes were incompatible and I had not done a test spritz on the back of a door first. The polyurethane bubbled up and sat in clumps on the doors, then dried that way. I had to scrape off those four doors, sand and start all over again. I had vague visions in my brain of the drill sergeant and the FM rifles. It was fun... the first time, at least. 

My dad had a cousin Dale who was a fellow woodworker. I once asked him about his finishing regimen. He favoured wipe-on finishes for their ease in application. We discussed perfect. “Be careful about perfect” Dale winced. “Only God is perfect, and he doesn’t have a sense of humour”. Now that was the voice of experience talking. 

After sanding through four coats of paint and dry cycles…. again -  I had about enough painting to last me for a while. My wife, who had been waiting a month for the doors by this time, did not check as thoroughly this time. Even she wanted the doors up and the finishing to be done with. 

Perfect can be an ugly task master. It is much easier to be the guy sitting on the fence tossing out opinions than the guy trying to get there. 

But I disagree with Dale. God does seem to have a sense of humour, at least if you have all the time in the world to do everything twice or three times over. I think God can wait us out and I think he is laughing. The Greeks even had a name for this, they called it Hubris, when human beings attempt to accomplish something, and God just sits back eating popcorn and enjoying the show. Human beings are good for entertainment, especially when the word “PERFECT” comes into play. 

Me, I don’t think I will roll those dice. I think I will settle for a bit ‘organic’ next time around. It has a nice ring to it. I might even go for the Ikea doors, and that is saying a lot. 
0 Comments

    UNCOMMON
    ​THOUGHTS

    ...about common things. 
    ​

    Categories

    All
    Accidental Story
    Activist
    Adjusting The Recipe
    Adult Admission
    A Flannery O'Connor Moment
    After The Tiger
    A High Christology
    A Little Bit Redneck
    All About Widgets
    Allah Wallahi
    Al Low Vs The Man
    All Saints
    A Long List Of Thank Yous
    Amazing Grace
    A Month Of Sundays
    An Offer You Can’t Refuse
    Antique
    A Pile Of Wood And A Plan
    Are We There Yet?
    Artifact
    At Hand
    Attending To Beauty
    At War
    Bad-Ass Outlaw
    Bad Faith
    Badlands
    Baked Boiled Or Fried?
    Balcony Lady
    Beautiful By Design
    Beauty For Ashes
    Being Human
    Belial
    Beneficence
    Beware Of Men Who Cry
    Big Buts Of The Bible
    Blessed Are The Pew Warmers
    Bound For Beauty
    British Invasion
    Bronte Oak
    Bucket List
    But If Not
    But Is It Sandable
    But Is It True?
    Buyer Beware
    Camp Of The Unknown God
    Carlton The Delivery Man
    Chaos
    Cherry Top
    Class Monitors And Safety Patrols
    Clothing Optional
    Cloud Of Witnesses
    Contra Mundum
    Couldn't Not
    Counting The Cost
    Covid Cut
    Creed
    Crucified Man
    Dangerous
    Dangerous Chemicals Of My Youth
    Dieu Et Mon Droit
    Different Drum
    Distressed
    Doing The Lord's Work
    Do It Yourself
    Do-Over
    Do Something!
    Dreaming And Doing
    Edifice
    Egging Armour Hill
    Even As I Am Known
    Even Me
    Even Stranger Things
    Fallow Season
    Family Bible
    Family Business
    Fellowship Of The Brush
    Field Of Faith
    First World Chair
    Fit As You Go
    Fixing The Machine
    Flawed People
    Flock Of Angels
    Follow The Money
    For A Time Such As This
    Fortissimo!
    French Horn
    From A Distance
    Frozen Man
    Funny Words
    Genetic Lottery
    Gifting
    Global
    Good Bones
    Good God Almighty
    Good Government
    Good Luck Skippy
    Gott Mit Uns
    Greatest Is Love
    Gross Anatomy
    Grunt
    Haka!
    Hammer And Tong
    Hands And Eyes
    Happy Rooster
    Hearing Voices
    Hello My Juan
    Helping God Show Off
    Hidden In The Secret Place
    High Dudgeon
    History Bites
    Hockey Tape And Rubber Bands
    Holy Disorder
    Home Economics
    I AM
    I Cannot Help You
    I Could Be Wrong
    I Dare You
    Idiots
    If You Build It
    If You Get There Before I Do
    Im Khalil
    Impossibly Cute
    In A Strange Land
    Incarnation
    Influencer
    In My Own Time
    Inner FIfteen Year Old
    In The Details
    In The Usual Manner
    Invader
    Judge Not
    Just A Few Words
    Justice
    Just In Our Own Time
    Just Like God
    Keep Calm And...
    Keeper
    Keeping House
    Keeping On Keeping On
    KJV
    Knock Yourself Out
    Kumbaya
    Kybo
    Lamentations
    Lemonade
    Less Is More
    Let Me Count The Ways
    Let's Go RIde A BIke
    Linked In
    Little Boxes
    Liturgy
    Lo And Behold
    Logos
    LOL
    Looking Back On The Forward Looking
    Looking For Some Real Good News
    Lord Jesus It’s A FIRE
    Lorem-ipsum-dolor
    Lost-and-found
    Luck Of The Stable
    Magical
    Make-a-baby-laugh
    Make It Nice
    Maker
    Maker’s Mark
    Ma-pitom
    Marbles-in-spring
    Measure Of A Man
    Memory Box
    Men In Loincloths
    Men's Barber Shop
    Middle Ground
    Middleman
    Mistakes All In
    Montreal Spice
    More
    Morse Code
    Mosh Pit
    My Neighbour
    Myth Of Sisyphus
    My Wife The Movie Star
    Name Calling
    Natural
    Neighbour
    New Day
    New Wine
    Next To Godliness
    Next Year Country
    No Fancy Diagram Needed
    No King But Caesar
    None Deserving
    North Of Ground Level
    Nothing Particularly Important
    Nothing Personal
    Not Waiting For Godot
    No Wonder
    Oak
    One Coffee At A Time
    One Smart Farmer
    One Thing
    On Richard Rohr
    On The Lam
    On Writing Clearly
    Ordinary Time
    Out Of Egypt
    Over And Again
    Paint Over That
    Paper Boy
    Particularity
    Particulate Matter
    Part Of The Tradition
    Pater Noster
    Patina
    Pelagian
    Perfect
    Perfect Crime
    Perfect Ride
    Philosemite
    Pilate's Dilemma
    Pinky Swear
    Place At The Table
    Playing Favourites
    Pop-a-corn!
    Potato War
    Preaching Parrot
    Predators
    Prince
    Print Shop
    Prisoner Of Jesus Christ
    Proof Text
    Psalm 1
    Psalm 19
    Put Away The Books
    Putting Up The Lights
    Reduce Reuse Recycle
    Restoration
    Rosemary And The Drug Dealers
    Sandwich
    Say My Name
    Scars
    Second Naiveté
    Seeing Red
    Seven Sixty-Five
    Shouting From The Areopagus
    Shrove-tuesday
    Silent-witness
    Small-c
    Small-graces
    Sore-afraid
    Squat
    Starting With What Is True
    Street Food
    Superstar
    Take-a-punch
    Takedown
    Talking-head
    Talking Your Parents Down From The Ledge
    Telling-the-story
    Thanksgiving
    The-best-for-last
    The Bliss Of Ignorance
    The Church Invisible
    Thecrossingking
    The Evil Day
    The-general
    The Great Mystery
    The-joys-of-hash
    Themysteryofthecheshirecat
    The-particularity-of-place
    The-quickening
    Therefore-choose-life
    The Table-ness Of A Table
    The Way
    Though One Be Raised From The Dead
    Thoughts On Sixty
    Three Jews And A Gentile
    Thrice Wise
    Throwing The Spaghetti Against The Wall
    Timeless
    Time Vs Time
    Tim Falladay
    Tims No More
    Tonto And Me
    Touching Stones
    Trevor’s Super Bad Day
    Trick Key
    Tubafore!
    Unbelievable
    Under A Bush? HELL NO!
    Uninvited
    Unspectacular
    Use Gently
    Watching Paint Dry
    Wayside Chapel
    Weaker Sex (?)
    We Stand On Guard For Thee
    We Were Waiting
    What Are You Prepared To DO?
    What Lazarus Knew
    When Cows Fly
    When Odd Becomes Interesting
    Why I Still Like Cowboys
    Witness
    Woke
    Wood Show
    Woodworking Lessons In Empathy
    Words
    Words... The Right Tool
    Worthy Adversary
    You And Me And Rob

    RSS Feed

Contact Us

    Subscribe Today!

Submit
Picture
  • Home
  • Hello and Welcome
  • Blog
  • Random Gatherings
  • My Book
  • FAQ