“There are three things too wonderful for me, four that I cannot understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship at sea, and the way of a man with a maiden.”
Everybody at one time of another has seen the “The venus of Willendorf” She’s pretty ample. No doubt she’s a mom, maybe many times over. I think of the painter Peter Paul Rubens, and the term “Rubenesque”. Ruben’s corpulent maidens were svelte by comparison.
They say that your sense of attraction, your taste in the opposite sex will be determined by a select few parties you have encountered early on: your mom, your babysitter, or you kindergarten teacher. Chances are the physical type of woman you hanker after in a lifetime resembles one of those. It’s not really about the look, it’s that nurture that got lodged in your heart way back when.
I can’t remember the exact moment I fell in love with my wife. Chances are it was the time we went on our first planned outing. She was spotlessly appointed… she even ironed her T-shirt, something unheard of in my own world of wash-and-wear. That and she had prepared a picnic lunch. Holy cow, the woman is hot AND she cooks! Who wouldn’t chase after that?
I do recall the moment when a young woman crossing the road with a baby buggy first caught my eye. It suddenly clicked with me how utterly attractive a woman nurturing a child is. Some may write that kind of woman off as an Earth bunny - a backwards compliment perhaps, but you can see how those nurturing souls with a small child in tow positively glow. Something in your unconscious will recognize this piece of the puzzle and you will have turned a corner in the big picture. It could be you are ready for a life partner.
A wise word for those “desperately seeking”… it’s not the little black mini and the stiletto high heels that are attractive - it’s the summer dress and the baby carriage. Something in the back of our minds recognizes the ancient imprint of Madonna and child. Chances are she will have a literal halo, and a head covering. Yes, it’s a modest kind of beauty shining forth that originates from that sense of nurture within. It was compelling enough that apparently Mary found favour even with God.
It’s also part of the big design, and why David the shepherd boy could ponder such mysteries in Psalm 139: “For it was You who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise You because I have been fearfully and wonderfully made”. It’s not so veiled praise for motherhood, coming from the top.
I can recall my Dad referring to my mother as “Mom”. It happens in a household after a decade or so of back and forth with kids. YOUR mom eventually becomes just “Mom” and the handle sticks. It also happened in my household. My wife, otherwise known as “Mom”.
But the title fits and it has been earned as well. It has made me sit back in admiration for all those things men have to learn that women seem to know instinctively. There is quite a rush to dismiss differences between the sexes these days, but there was a place and time when such feminine qualities were recognized and curated as the crown of womanhood. Hence an older generation used to teach “comportment” to young girls growing up. If you don’t know what the word means, look it up. It’s fallen from popular discourse, but it identifies the way a woman carries herself.
Our eldest is coming home for Christmas. She is homesick. I suspect she is tired of school work and all else, and she needs that feeling of someone else taking care of her. She needs a bit of mothering. “That’s ok” said my wife, “I’m ready to take care of her.” When I asked her who is going to take care of HER, she just laughed. “I don’t mind,” she replied. “I like it. It’s my job.”
My advice if you are seeking a wife - find a woman who bakes bread barefoot. It’s very attractive. Find one who really likes kids. Chances are such a woman will become barefoot and pregnant before you know it.